Here we are at the 6th Holy Night. As we move further away from the Day of Nativity, we must work harder to remember we are in the midst of the Holy Nights. Yes, with tonight's message we have completed the first half of Inner Christmas.

What have you found appearing in your soul during these nights? An insight, a feeling, an intention, a spark of freedom, a moment of love? Or have you found yourself feeling a new emptiness or perhaps a resentment?  Do you wish you were paying more attention to opening up to connecting with the spiritual world and to connecting with your own emerging selfhood?

What were your goals when you began celebrating Inner Christmas?  If you didn't have any clear goals, notice it.  Maybe now is the time to consider (from the Latin -  con-with and sidere - star).  Rudolf Steiner writes, in my favorite verse, "I feel my star. My star finds me." In the bold mood of the Holy Nights, feel your star and let it find you! Let it be your goal to simply consider what finds you.

It may be difficult to trust your feeling or to want to be clear about it. Bless the difficulty.

Difficulties are springboards to inner and practical development. Difficult jobs. Difficult relationships. Difficult health. Difficult childhood. Difficult moods. Difficult days and difficult nights.  It can feel as if everything you seek, even deserve, is met with resistance, a coninuing echo of "No room at the inn."

Difficulties direct us to the manger, the unexpected shelter where we give birth to something new, something glorious, something redeeming in our hearts, minds, and endeavors.

Physically, it is very difficult to birth a baby - I've done it twice. It is labor. It is transition that comes too fast and too intensely. The feeling of ambivalence in the process is unspeakable.  Then the joy, joy, joy of the new.  Then comes the difficulty of parenting and of nurturing the child to meet its destiny.  And everybody learns lessons, grows and becomes wise with each difficulty that is faced. Some "baby" is born, some epiphany strikes the soul.

The mature, ripe soul has learned to benefit from difficulties and the wise soul feels gratitude. Our goal is to birth ourselves anew many times and labor willingly. And welcome the sudden and often painful epiphanies.

Tonight look at the lessons of the year, the moral lessons that made you a better you. How difficult was the learning? Be grateful.