September 11, 2021
Hi Dear One,
I'm writing this at 12 Noon, twenty year later. And I am newly aware of what I witnessed. Yes, I had seen the Twin Towers collapse and I was aware that many had died. It took me days to realize that the black dots I saw flying out of the building were not debris, they were human beings. I was witness to their last act of will, the choosing to die from falling rather than from fire.
It has taken me years to own the intimacy of what I witnessed. Not just the larger experience of history and tragedy, but that I witnessed the intentional killing of 2753 individuals. No one I knew. Why was it their destiny to die in that event? Why was it my destiny to witness the moments of their dying. Seeing the little black spots falling through the air and watching the building crushing the life out of others? I wish I had words to describe
the evolution of my personal experience of my witnessing 20 years ago to where it is today. There are no words.
I was about 1.5 miles away, safe on my deck in Jersey City. I would run inside to look at the TV, to learn information, but spent most of the 102 minutes on my deck. I couldn't believe what I was seeing from my deck or watching on the TV.
I spent the next year having conversations with Bethene LeMahieu,Ed.D, exploring the impact of Ground Zero on the Human Soul and the shared future of humanity. We talked for hours at least 3 times a week. You can hear the final recordings of our conversations here.
Now on the 20th anniversary, I've read all the articles on the "moment in history", the impact on the families and first responders, the impact on world politics, the impact on wars, terrorism, extremism, hatred and revenge. All of this is reaction and points of view.
The conversations with Bethene were about soul, consciousness, understanding the role of the individual in transforming tragedy into the potential for meaning and purpose, establishing a new worldview through many conversations among ordinary people seeking a new ordinary life...more awake, more noble, more creative than the life of 9/10, We went deep, high and wide with our questions.
I recently asked a brilliant doctoral student in his mid-20's who grew up in the mid-west, what he thought about 9/11. His answer was "Nothing!" It holds no influence on the context of his life. He will talk about moral questions, the existence of evil, and what is possible in the future, but he believes all his questions and hopes have no connection to 9/11. What does it matter?
When the call for proposals for the memorial came out, inspired by the conversations with Bethene, I thought of creating a walk shaped like the infinity symbol wrapping around the footprint of the towers...the walk would be paved with stones from every country in the world. I imagined all the visitors walking in silence. I imagined how the lemniscate would look from a plane flying over the memorial. I also felt it was a place where as they walked the
1300 feet and experienced the crossing point, human souls would not just remember the event, but they would also imagine a future for all of humanity.
How has 9/11 lived in your soul? Is it just history or is it a turning point. Is it only a moment of horror or does it ask for thoughtful contemplation of a new ordinary life?
Below I have posted scans of the memorial I imagined. My friend, Carol Allen, an architect, helped with the model. I apologize for using scans as I have lost the digital files. The description of the memorial can be found in this dropbox folder where it is much easier to read. Many who have studied this imagination have
suggested it belongs at other places of war and hatred.
I would so love to take the Walk of Peace with you.
