What is the experience of being worthy? Of waking up in the morning feeling worthy of life? In this post I will begin exploring this state of self and invite you to a webinar on Saturday, August 10 at Noon Eastern. In the webinar I will share deep imagination of the mystery of being worthy.   I believe we are all worthy of life, of connection, of support, compassion and love.

I am reading Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors by Janina Fisher. She writes that we are all longing for wholeness, safety and welcome. These are feelings of self-perception that lead to self-love or in their absence to self-alienation. These are the three key foundations for measuring our sense of worthiness. How whole am I? How safe am I? How welcome am I?

Many of us think these three states can only be felt if we achieve a level of perfection. If we perfect ourselves, we will be whole, safe and welcome by others and will then feel okay about ourselves. Yet the ideal/ought of perfection is a distraction and a seduction that keeps us away from true selfhood. I think that joy is the acceptance of the glory of our imperfections…our individuality. We are whole, safe and welcome just the way we are.

From that place of joy, we can then come to observe our stories, our relationships, our well-being, our passions, our sacrifices, our journeys, our sufferings with wonder, equanimity and freedom. And we can take the next step, choose a new direction, risk a new possibility confident that whatever unfolds we will still be rooted in the feelings of being whole, being safe and being welcome. You will be worthy of love, self-love.

Let me share my own experience of feeling whole.

Wholeness

Most of my life, I have not felt my wholeness. I have felt my holes. Being wholly self means being holy…looking into the the holes to see the in-dwelling I smiling back at me with unconditional self-love. It is our holes that make us wholly individual.  For years I thought of these holes as mistakes, wounds, nightmares, needing to be filled up before I could feel okay.

In the realm of cheese, the holes in the great Swiss cheeses are called “eyes.” In the realm of the human soul, holes are  called “I’s.”  When we look into our “holes” it first seems like a void where nothing exists. However, given that spirit is the opposite of matter and matter is the substance we see that fills up space, spirit, the substance of “I”, appears to our ordinary senses as nothing.

I thought I had holes in my appearances, in my story, in my relationships, in my will. I thought of you as judge and I thought I would be rejected because of my holes. I punished myself for my holes. My holes meant I wasn’t worthy of being worthy, of success, of telling my truth and expressing my feelings.  I had to be perfectly whole first!

Now I laugh at my lack of understanding. Now I celebrate my holes as they are my individuality. I am wholly and holy Lynn because I dwell in my holes! Are you laughing with me??? Our holes hold our worthiness.

Do you understand what I am saying here? The whole purpose of Imagine Self and most of my waking efforts is to help each one of us celebrate our holes and discover our holiness. I see the holy wholeness in each clients holes. See the wholeness in your holes and celebrate finding, knowing and becoming you!

Another understanding of wholeness leads us to recognize and name our parts and be able to weave them together. This I will explore in the Being Worthy Webinar.