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If only I had known...

I want to share how my life would have been different if I had been conscious and knowledgeable about the Three Shapers of My Reality a long time ago. 

I was introduced to the four temperaments when I was 38, to the twelve senses when I was in my mid-forties, and to the eight processes in my mid-fifties. The introductions were intellectual and engaging. I thought all three shapers were significant, but I didn’t really get how powerful and potentially creative they were until I started paying attention to how they shaped my own life and paying attention their appearance in my clients, family and friends.

Now 30 years later, I get it and hope my work with them makes it possible for kids in my grandchildren’s generation to learn about them during adolescence. Once I gave a 2 hour introduction to public high school students and was amazed at their enthusiasm. My whole life would have been so very different, if I had had a course in “what makes you you” as I entered high school or college.

I would have loved myself. 

I wouldn’t have felt weird, just myself. 

I would have recognized and understood others with more kindness and less judgment and less jealousy. I would have been curious, not critical.

I wouldn’t have felt so much pain in my loneliness. 

I would have understood why some people I liked, didn’t like me and vice versa.

I would have trusted my way of perceiving the world and processing knowledge and feelings.

I would have been more comfortable asking questions and not so worried about right answers.

Intimacy of every kind: with friends, lovers, ideas, tasks, the past and the future, would have been so much more relaxed and rewarding.  

Problems, difficulties and obstacles would have been worked through, overcome, cleaned up and forgotten with much more ease and creativity. 

Don’t laugh, I would have had a better wardrobe.

I would have known why I hated doing certain things and why some things I really wanted to do I couldn’t get right.

I would have had a way of recognizing my gifts and my weaknesses. I would have known how to work on myself.

I would have had fewer “bad” habits, addictions and anxieties.

I would have been a better parent.

This list could go on and on. And I have learned much about myself just writing them down.

And if my parents, teachers, friends, coworkers and everyone I interacted with in anyway understood the dynamics of the three shapers of our different realities…OMG, life would be so much better.

Lively & Dynamic

The intellectual understanding of the temperaments, senses and processes is easy learn.  The names of each and their characteristics, qualities and values, strengths and weaknesses can be useful, but also pretty dry and dull and forgettable. Not very useful.

What I bring in the Three Shapers course is much more lively and dynamic.  Yes, I will define and categorize them so you can pass a test, but my goal is to make them lifelong tools to work with, colors to paint with, movements to choreograph, possibilities to invent, lenses to focus with…all kinds of wonderful things. The course lets you observe, understand and create with the three shapers.  It is full of haha’s, ahha’s and WOW’s.  You won't forget them.

Shaping the Shapers

Can we shape the shapers? Yes!

Let me share some wisdom about the shaping of the shapers. There are four stages of developmental relationship with each.  The first two are unconscious and unchosen. The third requires you to imagine and practice a new relationship to each. The fourth is the mysterious connection to the archetypes.

INNATE – We are born with a biologically determined design of temperament, perception and processing.  This is what most courses are about.  Everything about the shapers is determined at birth.  Wrong! There is a determined tendency, sometimes powerful tendencies, but they are not a life sentence because life unfolds in a myriad of possibilities.

ADAPTIVE – In order to survive our childhoods, we adapt. Adaption is an unconscious adjustment or alteration of how we experience ourselves in our reality. Call it karma or trauma or parental expectation…we learn to twist our temperaments, inhibit or exaggerate our senses, and how to not breathe, digest, or generate life in order to fit in, be accepted, endure or rebel. We must be safe, calm, awake and nourished to develop creative relationships to the three shapers…anyone want to share a perfect childhood story?

EVOLVED – Consciously evolving and developing the great gifts and capacities of the three shapers requires that we know what we are working with in the complex context of our own selves. Self-knowledge, self-compassion and self-will develop as we grow in our recognition and evaluation of the shapers and our personal and unique shaping of the shapers.  In Imagine Self, we first find, then know, then become ourselves and our reality becomes dynamically rich…a self-choreographed dance of our temperaments, our senses and our processes.  Evolution depends on courageously chosen baby-steps and an occasional leap into the unknown.

EXALTED – Rare moments appear when you become a pure gesture of a temperament, a sense or a process in just the right, unselfish ways for the particular circumstances.  Your reality becomes the miracles, the grace, the love that astonishes and glows with the reflection of the gods. Having a creative relationship with the three shapers is a preparation for these exalted states.  You cannot make them happen but you can prepare.